Mr. Kid President, will you please be my mayor..?

If you haven't seen this kid already, you gotsta catch up. Another bit of brilliance from Kid President. 

Do you think a young brother could really play a role like this before NeO? Wouldn't  it have come off strange? Tragic?

But not now. You can allow yourself to feel the hope that's embodied in this very slickly produced movie because it's documenting demonstrated truth. The order has changed. Even if Obama's a bioengeneered robot, the narrative he is creating is going to produce a lot more little brothers like the one in this video. I feel pepped.  

The Brother From Another Planet

Say what you will about President NeObama, he has given us the gift of some amazing iconography.

Buy your own damn fries

My uncle recently sent me the Mighty O's autobiography, Dreams From My Father, which I've been meaning to read for a second. I've been a little hesitant because I didn't want to be an even bigger Obama-stan than I already am, but hearing clips from the audio book version has made it official: Obama is gangsta.

The Post-Hope Obama and Other Thoughts

1. I guess my question is now: if we go Black, will we ever go back? Where are we going to find jobs for all these old nefarious White men?

2. John McCain: It ain't tricking if you got it. Sure she spent $150,000 on a shopping spree and laced her 1st Dude in $5,000 worth of clothes and made sure Baby Trig had the latest in House of Dereon streetwear, but did you think they was going to let her get up in front of all them rich people wearing some old moose hunting camo? You betcha, not.

Get like me!

Come on now! Don't hate because a sista is trying to step her game up. I know Minnesota Congresswoman Super-American Michele Bachmann could use some of that change after she put her foot in her mouth and the RNC cut off her check, but there's an old Alaskan saying that applies here: it bees like that.

Besides, Cindy McCain spent twice that on one outfit.

Your man might be young, but so is your money.

By the way, you better get used to the Palin thing. Ole' girl ain't going nowhere and she's going to be major by the time we get to 2012.

2. It appears that election day is going to look like that scene from The Firm where Wilford Brimley starts talking crap to Tom Cruise and ends up getting bludgeoned with a briefcase for his trouble.

What's up with the hookup on one of them dia-beet-us commercials?

The big difference will be that a) Wilford Brimley is actually younger than John McCain (no lie) and b) Barack is going to be flashing that smile while he's swinging away, probably whistling 99 Problems.

3. But what happens after the election? Republicans are running around like roaches with the lights cut on because they say that Barack will have one of the largest mandates of the last couple decades, will have control of both houses of congress, and will have access to an executive branch that is more powerful (and corrupt) than its ever been. I believe in Barack and what he says he's going to do, but it makes me a little nervous too. The most important thing he can do for this country is bring balance back to the Executive branch. I know there's a lot of things that he wants to do, but he's going to have to show some restraint or the unconstitutional changes that Bush made will be set, and be even harder to undo. Luckily, I think he gets that. We'll see.

Just be sure to maintain the dignity of the office.

4. I've been getting posted at school and haven't had time to post, but it really hurt my feelings when I couldn't write about the passing of my man Levi Stubbs. That brother could sang! It's hard for me to think of anyone who used the urgency and passion of his voice to tell a story. The first time I heard him sing Bernadette, I knew what it meant to marry tone with narrative. That's a big loss.

4. And Dolemite died too. I'm not sure how to feel about that because Dolemite always seemed like such a minstrel actor to me, but his movies are so bad that they're almost good. I guess it's kind of related to my dilemma about what I'm going to wear for Halloween. I would like to go as Sir Nose D'Voidoffunk, but I know everybody's just going to think I'm dressed as a pimp. Obviously that's not a good look for a teacher of impressionable youth. And plus, now it's cool for White people to have Pimp and Ho parties, and that makes me want to hurt someone. So, Dolemite, I love you, but I hate your pimp game.

grrr...

5. By the way, I knew that McCain supporter was lying about getting tattooed by some Angryblackman. That didn't make any sense from the beginning and shows why diversity is so important: an ignorant person will tell an ignorant lie. She needs to get some Black friends or hang out at Popeye's or go to a barber shop or something, than she could come with something believable. Brothers that are sitting around ATMs waiting for White women are not looking to make a political statement--they just trying to get your money. In fact, Michelle Obama is more likely to get robbed by a brother at an ATM than a White woman. Sad, but true.

IGNANT

Sarah Palin: Crackhead?

umm...

Today Misstra Knowitall found himself in a pitched debate with his brilliant high school journalism students over the proposition that Sarah Palin is indeed a smoker of rocks. After watching a video of Katie Couric's interview with Palin in class (see below), one student remarked that Palin "must be on crack or something--she's twitching that much."

One of the most difficult things about being a teacher sometimes is figuring out how and when to come in as the "voice of reason" in the classroom (read: wet blanket) and try to redirect the conversation more towards whatever learning objective (thanks TFA) I had planned for that day. I argued that in journalism class it was okay to criticize a public figure, but not alright to suggest they are crackhead just because they obviously don't know how to speak in front of a camera.

"That's called libel," I intoned.

Another student diplomatically suggested that perhaps the Vice Presidential nominee was stammering so much because she hadn't fully recovered from an undiagnosed stroke.

*Sigh*

The frustrating thing about that moment was that the students were essentially correct. Their argument was not as nuanced as I would have hoped, but they had hit on something that was obvious to anyone who watched the video: Sarah Palin is not fit to be the next president of the United States. One of the saving graces of this election has been the idea that at least after January 2009 we won't have to be embarrassed to see our President out in public. At least we won't have to cringe every time this person gets up in front of a group of people and opens their mouth. At least we won't have to worry about our leader not being able to pronounce "nuclear." But with his selection of Palin, John McCain has ripped that silver lining off of the Presidential cloud. McCain is definitely on some scorched earth type stuff.

Oh, and yes Obama appears to be up big time right now, but mark my words: it ain't over y'all. It's just as important to ignore the polls when you're up as when you're down because there is still a lot of time left in this thing. I wouldn't be surprised if at some point McCain climbed back on top. Besides, I still think this election is going to be decided in the courts.

"Allow me to reintroduce myself, my name is O..."

And if you're one of those people who feels the need to slow down at the scenes of car crashes, I'm sure you'll enjoy the clip below.

I know our whole economy is in danger of collapse and all that, but why is it hard to shake the feeling like I'm in that bank robbery scene from Batman? You know the one, where Joker's goons are running around the bank lobby with funny masks, telling everyone to hand over their money quick "or else"?

If I were a more cynical person, I might suggest that this "crisis" was an attempt by the supporters of the current administration to pull up a school bus up to the back of the Federal Reserve and make one last withdrawal.

With the White House bailout talks having disintegrated and McCain and the Rethugs seemingly making a fool of Treasury Secretary Paulson, this is like the part where the bank manager (William Fitchner) comes out with that shotgun and the whole operation goes to hell in a hand basket.

Treasury Secretary Paulson, you might want to take a look behind you.

At least when Clintonanddem left the White House, all they did was steal a couple chairs and remove the keys off of some keyboards. These dudes are trying to steal the whole economy.

Hee, hee. Bailouts for all!

Don't Worry, Be Happy

Be easy, y'all. Barack is going to be all right.

We need to take a deep breath and stop watching the polls. With the way the news cycle works these days, you would think we were having an election every week instead of once every four years.

McCain was down big time in the Republican primary, but he came back.

Barack was down big time in the Democratic primary, but he came back.

This things is going to be close no matter what happens. We've got 51 days until election day and agonizing over every minute twist and turn in the polls is not going to help anything except your indigestion. The only numbers that count are the ones that come out on election day.

Sarah Palin is not going to make or break this election for anyone, so don't believe the hype. However, we do know a fewthings for sure:

1. This election will be settled in court and in the streets. I hope Obama and dem have a real serious plan to take it as far as they need to go because the Rethuglicans are definitely going to try and steal this one (again). I also hope they are ready to get gully and knock some folks up side the head if they need to. If you need a point of reference, check out how the Rethuglicans stopped the recount in Florida by kicking open the door to the election judge's room. I hope somebody has RayRay, Jaykwon, and Lil' KnuckKnuck on speed dial.

Yeah, we might have to take it there.

2. The whole qualification thing is kind of a joke, especially considering the standard set by our current President. At least Sarah Palin can read.

Could it really get any worse than this?

3. Why is it suddenly so cool to kill moose(es?) nowadays? Is that anything to be proud of? For all you conservative Christians out there, in answer to your bumper stickers: I'm not sure what would Jesus do, but I know for daggone sure he wouldn't be running around with a shotgun trying to clap at no moose.

There is an uncanny resemblance here.

4. By the way, how do you think the whole teen pregnancy would have played out in the media if it was Obama's daughter? The headline in four words: Obama Baby Mama Drama.

5. And I bet you Elizabeth Hasselback wouldn't have said what she said to Michelle's face.

Oh, no she didn't!

6. Another reason to vote for Obama: we could save tax payer dollars because the Secret Service wouldn't need to spend much on a body double--everyone knows that all Black men look alike.

Change is my prerogative!

7. Sorry to say, but if Obama does become President, racism is officially over, y'all. White people are going to be canceling the race card and using the Obama card. "Look, I'm no racist. I love Black people--Heck, I even voted for Obama!" I'm sorry to say that if they give this brother the job, it's going to be that much harder for a Black man to gain employment.

8. Can you ever remember a time when so much attention was paid for so much time on a Black man who was really about something? I know O.J. must really be ready for this election to be over so he can get his closeup back.

"Hello, I'm O.J. Simpson. Remember me?"

9. You have a Black man who is only two months from becoming President of the United States of America. Did you think this was going to be easy?

10. And finally: who are you to doubt the power of the Mighty Mighty O?

That's with the left (of course).

Why?

Because he's Weng Weng, dammit.