Saturday, September 13, 2008

Don't Worry, Be Happy

Be easy, y'all. Barack is going to be all right.

We need to take a deep breath and stop watching the polls. With the way the news cycle works these days, you would think we were having an election every week instead of once every four years.

McCain was down big time in the Republican primary, but he came back.

Barack was down big time in the Democratic primary, but he came back.

This things is going to be close no matter what happens. We've got 51 days until election day and agonizing over every minute twist and turn in the polls is not going to help anything except your indigestion. The only numbers that count are the ones that come out on election day.

Sarah Palin is not going to make or break this election for anyone, so don't believe the hype. However, we do know a fewthings for sure:

1. This election will be settled in court and in the streets. I hope Obama and dem have a real serious plan to take it as far as they need to go because the Rethuglicans are definitely going to try and steal this one (again). I also hope they are ready to get gully and knock some folks up side the head if they need to. If you need a point of reference, check out how the Rethuglicans stopped the recount in Florida by kicking open the door to the election judge's room. I hope somebody has RayRay, Jaykwon, and Lil' KnuckKnuck on speed dial.

Yeah, we might have to take it there.

2. The whole qualification thing is kind of a joke, especially considering the standard set by our current President. At least Sarah Palin can read.

Could it really get any worse than this?

3. Why is it suddenly so cool to kill moose(es?) nowadays? Is that anything to be proud of? For all you conservative Christians out there, in answer to your bumper stickers: I'm not sure what would Jesus do, but I know for daggone sure he wouldn't be running around with a shotgun trying to clap at no moose.
There is an uncanny resemblance here.

4. By the way, how do you think the whole teen pregnancy would have played out in the media if it was Obama's daughter? The headline in four words: Obama Baby Mama Drama.

5. And I bet you Elizabeth Hasselback wouldn't have said what she said to Michelle's face.

Oh, no she didn't!

6. Another reason to vote for Obama: we could save tax payer dollars because the Secret Service wouldn't need to spend much on a body double--everyone knows that all Black men look alike.

Change is my prerogative!

7. Sorry to say, but if Obama does become President, racism is officially over, y'all. White people are going to be canceling the race card and using the Obama card. "Look, I'm no racist. I love Black people--Heck, I even voted for Obama!" I'm sorry to say that if they give this brother the job, it's going to be that much harder for a Black man to gain employment.

8. Can you ever remember a time when so much attention was paid for so much time on a Black man who was really about something? I know O.J. must really be ready for this election to be over so he can get his closeup back.

"Hello, I'm O.J. Simpson. Remember me?"

9. You have a Black man who is only two months from becoming President of the United States of America. Did you think this was going to be easy?

10. And finally: who are you to doubt the power of the Mighty Mighty O?

That's with the left (of course).


Nina K. said...

I like this Abdel, esp #9! It definitely is gonna take work. I am driving all my family, friends, and random people crazy to volunteer and donate.
Thanks for writing this!

vanessa said...

Amen, amen, amen. Polls are destructive, soul-crushing things that provide nothing but stress and scaremongering.

Palin, Shmalin. She can look at Alaska from her house all she wants.

Jackson Brown said...

awesome post!

yeah, i went 6 days without power or the news ... the most peaceful 6 days i've had in months!