The Ace of Spades

So, now that Rick Santorum and Ron Paul are getting serious consideration as Republican presidential candidates, can we officially stop the charade and just punch NeO's ticket for 2012?


I was convinced that it would be George W. Bush who would benefit from the incredible political leverage the death of Osama Bin Laden would provide. Before the election of 2004, I was convinced that Bin Laden would stumble out of a CIA spider hole somewhere, just in time for the Iowa polls. President DwB and Vice President Chixon would ride in on an F-16 and blow him to kingdom come.

In those days we knew not to trust the dominant narrative. We knew something was funny with 9/11. We knew the first Iraq was a business transaction, the sequel an inartful jack. We knew that the Bin Laden could have been killed at Tora Bora, but was not. And even when GwB was able to get reelected and talk about how he didn't think about Bin Laden, we still worried that the Bin Laden card would be played in June of 2008, launching the tortured man and his be-speckled caretaker to the White House. We held our breath and didn't exale until NeO was sworn in, basking in the glow of Aretha Franklin's hat.  And then we kind of forgot about Bin Laden.


NeO was destined to be one of the most unpopular presidents of all time. Not only was he a brother, but the high and low swings are just a part of governance. You earn political capital and then you spend it. Along the way you have to break some promises and call in some favors. Perhaps bury some bodies. But the key is to have an ace in the hole. And wouldn't you know it, he sho nuff did. One suspects that the same interests who put Bin Laden off limits nearly ten years ago gave the green light for NeO to drop him in May.

It was perfect. It played right into NeO's invincible narrative. In the clutch, the man doesn't lose. He lion-strutted up to the podium and told everybody that he had killed the ghost, with two helicopters and a couple dozen SEALS. Driveright. Rightfootplantlefthandsweep. Perfunctory crossover. Rise up. Wristflick. Game.

The outcome of the 2012 election was announced that night in May, no disrespect to the DOA Republican candidate who stumbles out of Iowa. Before Bin Laden was Byron Russelled, it was really over when they said NeO raised more money than all of the Repugs combined. In the American political equation, the one with the biggest checks gets the keys to the house.

But why do I not get a good feeling about NeO in his second term?

Well, there's the fact that the gap between rich and poor is wider than it's ever been.

Or the fact that more immigrants have been deported under NeO than any previous president.

Or the fact that the Justice department was involved in the selling of illegal weapons to Mexican drug cartels.

Or the ongoing race to sell public education to private corporations.

Or more secret wars in Africa.

60% of the world's uncultivated land is in Africa. What does this emblem look like to you?

Or that as people were concentrating on their New Year's celebrations, the president just signed a law permitting the indefinite detention of American citizens. That's right, the son of slaves just alienated the citizens of this country from their inalienable rights. Of course those rights were only really supposed to apply to White males, but even they are getting screwed on this deal.

NeO, as much as I want to love him, is just a card dealer for the elite, working at a casino where the house always wins.

The Best and the Brightest

Tiger offered a humble apology to everybody: his mama, his wife, his kids, his corporate sponsors (!), his non-profit foundation, his fans. But what about the real victims in all of this? Light skinned brothers

For those of you new to the program, I have been documenting the comeback of light skinned brothers for some time now. Back in 1997, Pierre prophetically predicted our re-ascension in "How To Be A Player," and the 2000s have been heady times for those of us who ace our paper bag tests. We were down for so long during the "Wesley era," where a "darker the berry" ethos made tan skin on a brother less popular than a ham sandwich at a Saviours' Day convention.

NeObama, Cory Booker, Harold Ford...heck, even Drake. Quietly, we've been turning back the clock to the DeBarge era. And it's all because of Tiger. His ability to hit a little white ball across a golf course, better than anyone in history, opened the door for us. We smiled as everyone talked about how he advanced the plight of Black people, but WE knew who was really going to benefit from it. And indeed we have.

Who you calling pretty pretty princess?

But lately, there's been a little trouble. NeO is less popular than ever. Cory's got trouble. Harold Ford is, well, Harold Ford. Drake got played to the left by Sade. And then there's Tiger.

Over the years he has been a steady producer for the cause. He showed how a light skinned brother could leverage double and triple consciousness into a formula for success and make billions. Instead of light skin weakness just being a foil for dark skin strength (think Barkley vs. Jordan), he was kicking ass and staring folks down with a bright boy swagger.

Ahhh...that's a familiar fit.

There's been the occasional hiccup, of course. We grimaced when we heard about the whole Cablinasian thing. It reeked of Tragic Mulatto and sounded dumb enough that even White people felt comfortable making jokes about it.

Cablinasian Bruce Leroy

There is also a stereotype that light skinned brothers have a problem with Black women, so we would have preferred that he find a wife that was a little less...well...Nordic. But of course we'll be the last ones to talk down on interracial marriage. We secretly realize that no matter who we're with, our marriages are all going to be "interracial."

But the last three months have been trying times for our people. Cheating on his wife was bad enough, but with cocktail waitresses, porn stars and strippers? You are one of the most powerful men on the planet, and that's the best you could come up with? Lord knows that Black folks are willing to forgive the infidelities and sexual deviance of their male public figures [see: Michael (any of them), R. Kelly, MLK (sorry, true), Jessie, etc.] but it gets a whole lot more complicated when his taste in women is so, forgive me, White and skanky.

Now every time a light skinned brother tries to talk to a Black woman, a Tiger resemblance is a liability.

You gotsta step you're game up, player!

But we haven't given up hope on you, Tiger. You've got a couple of things going for you still. No matter how much your competition runs their mouth about you "disrespecting the game," they are all still trembling. You're lucky enough to be playing in a sport where a player's "prime" can last for two decades, so when you come back and hit that ball long enough, this thing will blow over. Golf is still a White man's game and that's who pays your bills. He doesn't really care about the infidelity thing. The White woman thing is an irritant, but the rule is that you're just not supposed to flaunt it like that.

Word.

So, it's okay that you didn't apologize, Tiger. We'll be alright, just make sure to put on a couple more green jackets. Give it some time and NeO will be able to return your calls again (Michelle still checks the Blackberry).

And our revolution will continue. Besides, you know the gods are with us when Vin Diesel is still getting work.

The Brother From Another Planet

Say what you will about President NeObama, he has given us the gift of some amazing iconography.

Nobel Swagger

So what if he hasn't earned it yet. Your president has been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. Pop some bottles and stop all that vacillating, b*****s!

But seriously, the Nobel thing does seem a bit ill-timed. Obama's got a major decision to make about troop deployments in Afghanistan. Everyone knows the war is a losing proposition that is going to cost America more blood and treasure. But if they withdraw, the Taliban is going to be back to their old tricks, stoning women and planning terrorist attacks. Either way, NeO is going to get the blame.

And that's what makes the Nobel thing a little confusing. Ideologically, NeO seems to be a world apart from Bush, but on policy, whether it's Guantanamo, state secrets, privacy concerns, Iraq, corporate bailouts, etc, they are closer than I would have ever have imagined. I think part of this has to do with the ingrained corporate power structure that controls the presidency, but part of it has to do with Obama.

Accolades aside, NeO will be judged on his ability to step back from the Rubicon that has already been crossed by Bush (and Clinton). He has to pull back the power of the executive branch if that Nobel prize is going to mean anything because an unchecked Executive branch means war, war, and more war.

Obama in Ghana

Wow.

Talking Points Memo posted new pictures from Obama's Ghana trip. Do yourself a favor and have a look.

Lush Life

I don't remember the first time I heard Johnny Hartman, but I suspect it was over my dad's girlfriend's house. My parents separated when I was a youngin, and one of few benefits of the situation was that when I was with my dad I had the luxury of having him all to myself. But that changed when he met C. He was over her house all the time (or at least it seemed that way) and dragged me along for the ride. C had a bossy streak that ran afoul of my Taurus stubborness, so at times we clashed. She had a son of her own, so she wasn't trying to be my mama, but she was definitely from the "children-are-seen-but-not-heard" school. Our most memorable disagreement was about whether or not it was necessary for one to stir the butter into ones grits (Note: hell naw you ain't got to stir them grits!).

Grits aside, C was undeniably smart and cool--just like the Johnny Hartman album she kept on heavy rotation in her apartment. I remember his voice, butter-smooth or lion grizzled, mingling with the sandalwood incense my father loved so much.

Hartman never got the props he deserved (familiar story), but he did record a classic album with John Coltrane that everyone should own. Frank Sinatra couldn't fake the kind of cool that Hartman embodied.

Jeu Identifient Jeu

NeObama is scary.

His performance at the G20 summit was crazy nice and the world is officially on his jock. Before the summit, it looked like people were going to give him trouble. Nikolai Sarkozy was talking trash about how he wasn't going to show up if NeO didn't make a concession early in the process (he was determined to not get one of those cheap re-gifted iPods NeO has been giving out like candy) and China was making noise about developing a new standard world currency (they want Deng Xiao Ping on the two dollar bill).

But when NeO stepped into that room, everything changed to bullet time. Instead of trying to fight him, the Chinese and French turned on each other. Instead of catching a beat down, NeO was the voice of reason that reconciled the feuding parties. If that ain't some Jedi Mind Trick type stuff, I don't know what is.

And it's almost too much that he's married to MiO. Michelle Obama could show up to see the Queen in a jogging suit and make it look both fly and appropriate. And on top of that, she's holding onto that woman like they're back in Iowa and she's about to help her register to vote in the primary. 

And damn MiO is fine.

Carla Bruni: we don't believe you, you need more people. :(

Of course we know that this is all political theater. It's the bread and circuses that keep the people satisfied and unconcerned with all of the protests that were going on outside of the G20. There's a major restructuring of the world economy going on and whether or not Barack played Carla or Carla played Barack isn't going to mean much to the average life of a citizen of this planet.

But what is important is that rarely have we had a president with such a sense of drama and presence. George W. Bush's biggest failure was that his team knew how to set a tone of high drama, but he had the soul of a buffoon. NeO can set the drama, but he also knows how to deliver the rhetorical and intellectual goods. And he knows what he's talking about.

NeO's comments during the G20 press conference were painfully insightful. One of the reporters asked him whether or not the United States had been diminished as a world power and he judo flipped the question into a treatise on the need for world diplomacy. Game recognize game.

The countdown to impeachment

People need to be comfortable with idea that there will come a time, perhaps soon, that the mighty mighty O will be very unpopular. Every other day in the news I see some new poll telling us that Obama is "slipping" or "sliding," despite the fact that he's still hugely popular. Whenever the economy is going badly, the President is always blamed, no matter how long he's been in office. And it looks like he's going to have to, in the words of Nas, "destroy and rebuild," the financial sector, which is just one of many big changes we need. It's always more popular to talk about change than to actually make change. And on top of everything else, he's a brother. America has a long-standing HR policy concerning Negroes: last hired, first fired.

The media has had to restrain themselves while Obama's poll numbers have been high, but once he drops below a certain level, the gloves are coming off. The disgrace left by the former president set an awful precedent about the (low) esteem with which we should hold for the presidency. Few presidents have done more to expand the scope of presidential power, while at the same time diminishing the stature of the office itself. Think about this: the elected(?) president of the United States had shoes thrown at him, and his own country laughed, loud. There was a time when that would have been unthinkable.

Expect Obama to come under more scrutiny than any president in history. With the continual focus on polls numbers, you can already see the media trying to enter the second part of its messiah narrative for our fearless leader. But I'm actually okay with that. Contrary to popular belief, the inauguration wasn't just a celebration of something achieved. It was also a preparation for the challenges we have yet to face. Soul food, if you will.

When times get tough at my school, I think back to how hopeful my students and I were on inauguration day. That memory is something special that can't be taken back, no matter how many cartoon chimpanzees they kill. We just got to be ready for the long haul. The only way real change ever occurs is through strife and struggle. It's about to get real. And that could be a really good thing*.

*As long as I can still pay my rent.