Thursday, June 26, 2008

The Negro Hulk

So, I've always been a big fan of the Incredible Hulk, but I'll have to admit that I was never a bigger fan than when Hulk turned into a Negro. That's right. A Negro. Sometime in the late eighties, Hulk caught reverse vitiligo, his skin darkened, and he got super smart (and cool as hell!). Some may call his behavior, for lack of a better word, well, Nigrish, because he moved to Las Vegas, started carrying a beeper, and chased a bunch of White women around.

G-Unit, my ass

When I saw this cover with the shotgun and the chips and the ladies and the dollar bill tie...well, let's just say it pushed the right buttons in my adolescent mind. The storyline goes that although Hulk is smarter and able to control Banner, his skin is sensitive to sunlight (?) and he's physically weaker. He goes to work as a casino bouncer for a mobster named Berengetti, who renames him "Mr. Fix-It."

He was Biggie before Biggie was Biggie!

And if there were any question about the Hulk getting to "smash" in the movie, no such ambiguity is found in this version.

"Who is this paging me at 5:46 in the morning...?"

And of course...
Kool Moe Dee says: Three days later, go see the doctor

Negro Hulk, you will always be my hero.