It looks like you done figured it out. Apparently, you discovered our secret plot. Perhaps you uncovered the cache of fried chicken and hotwings we were saving for field rations. Or maybe it was all the Colt 45 bottles we were stashing to use as Molotov Cocktails. Or perhaps you simply read the trails of our watermelon seeds.
But now that we've been found out, we might as well come clean:
Yes, if Barack Obama is not elected President of the United States on November 4th, Blackfolks are going to riot.
I know it's been several years since we had our last riot, but lately we have been a little anxious. First there was the whole OJ thing, which we were going to riot about, but forgot to. And then there was the Kwame Kilpatrick thing, which came at a completely awful time for us to riot--maybe if it had been after the first of the month. But honestly, we've been feeling a little ignored.
For a while we weren't sure how we fit into the whole Axis of Evil/Terrorist-thing because it seems you Whitefolks' attention has been pulled away from us. Now there's the Arabs (this includes Iranians because only terrorists would try and make a distinction), the Chinese (sneaky!), the Russians (sneakier!), and even Somali pirates (can those people even swim!?) to be afraid of.
Obama has helped us remember that we aren't really that different from the Arabs, as far as you're concerned. But you have been kind of slipping lately. Your racism these days is kind of weak. Subtle, even.
You can't blame us for getting a little uppity. Remember what you always used to tell us: "give a N an inch..."We didn't have anyone to remind us of our place. We even started believing that this Black man. This Brother. Could actually be President of the United States. That maybe there would come a day where you wouldn't be running things. How could you let us think such dangerous thoughts! You know we are an emotional people! WE TEND TO TALK IN CAPITAL FONTS AND USE EXCESSIVE PUNCTUATION!!!!!!!!!
But now you know. It's not too late. Even if we riot, who really cares because we only burn up our own communities? It's not like our streets are that peaceful to begin with (LOLOLOLOLOLOL). And so what if Obama is the better candidate and everybody knows it? There is still time to put us in our place and let us know who is boss.
You are still our plumber and we are still your moose.
With loving sincerity,
PS. BTW, even if he wins, we still gone riot. You know we crazy! :)